Trips to, Far Out There, for as low as $0…

Cup of coffee sir? Take your time. don’t burn your tongue.

That was a typical lift off. Beautiful weather you will be heading down to. So you’re a writer? Getting away to see some new things, very nice, very nice indeed. With the way air travel costs keep climbing these days, well you came to the right place, and although were not a well known discount airliner, we hope to change how you see the world,  because all of us are very proud of this lack of a social experiment that we have made in order to test the limits of what your emotional construct can handle. We hope you enjoy…

Yes, that is Jurassic Park playing from the 4 brand new VCRs we luxurized this old 747 with, and sorry that we couldn’t get the English version, we only had a fifty dollar budget. Here is the plan: Once this minute and a half is up you can choose any composition from the rich catalog of john Williams’s movie soundtracks. Hopefully these tunes will turn your plight into a spectacular adventure. And no, you are not going on vacation as you had thought. You are going far out there for a short detour, so savage, settle your shit, and always remember, to remain calm. Nobody is here. But who are the other individuals you may be saying to yourself as you panic looking around the rows of seats slowly coming to terms with your possible death? So yes, You’re all alone. The sexy holographic flight attendant is now showing you that there isn’t any exits or windows and the other passengers on this plane, yeah, holograms as well. We are also pleased to inform you that the pilot has now jumped out of the plane, his name was Dick, and the autopilot, well shit, that will stop working in five hours, leaving you with an undisclosed amount of time to learn how to fly this thing. If you give up there is a parachute hidden somewhere on the plane, but it’s up to you to pick what you want to do in this whole fucked up situation. Oh, and another thing: You will be flying through the eye of a massive hurricane in three hours, but we think that planes designed like the one that you are currently on have made it through just fine before, maybe, who knows.

Anyway, Thank you for choosing chaos, and yes, you may smoke on the plane. There aren’t any restrictions, and everything, is up to you. Goodbye.

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