Rule for writing #10: WRITE (day 67)

This shouldn’t publish right now. cleaning up this site. It’s old. from july I think. Anyway, I’m glad I got over whatever I was pissed about.

Removed the draft pages. I’ll post some later. This note is a journal entry. I’ll look back at later. The night can defeat you sometimes. peace.

Spontaneous Note To Self…

Not sure where this came from, but this is a long unedited rambling introduction to some draft pages. It started as a few sentences but I felt like utter shit today, and since nobody I know gives a fuck I just started writing and couldn’t stop. If you want to just read the draft pages they are down below the line. So blah, this will come down soon. Anyway it started with this:

Save up your money. This book is going to be good. All these posts are coming down soon. Then I’m going to get drunk and lose my mind this summer. Because I really don’t see a point right now, and even if there is one, I need to find it again. Spring better get here soon, but I don’t really care either way.

These words are from edited draft pages. The first volume of the Portable Andrew A.K will contain over 200 pages of new material and it will also contain, The Summer Travelin’ Books 1 and 2, and an Untitled E.P. After this book is done I will get back to, From Far Out There, that will be out sometime soon,  on the third draft of that. After that, I can die. lol.

beat down right now. editing is killing me. So tired. Out of thoughts. Wondering how to make this writing a bit more easy and less stressful. Life doesn’t ease up on the writer, and it shouldn’t  it’s just when you’re a poor man, people tend to leave you. lol. Bad people, but still, people. I used to know good people. I wonder how they’re doing. I work at night. Because I work until I start to feel crazy. I don’t really like writing at all right now. I like it about as much as living, so I have to live, meaning I have to write. I don’t know what else I would do. I am lazy when it comes to anything but my words, consumed and wonder if a family of my own is something I’ll ever have. Writing is strange and I think that most people my age are terrible writers. I don’t like many people, and maybe this is internal. I don’t have much to say, and I think my books are going to be something that doesn’t come along very often. They are works of art. How that art is judged is up to the savagery of our times. But they’re art. I’m also debating how I want them to look. I’m not sure about font direction right now. I like the typewriter style, but I also like the basic normal style as well. I don’t know. I guess I’ll wait until I have the finished manuscript in the next week and then start playing around with formatting  If anyone needs an editor or book formatting I’ll do it for you for relative cheap. I’ve been selling everything I have lately, and still, I need to make a bit more money to move. Who knows. But in the next two month, my books will be done, I will be 32, and off I will be, running. I’m thinking a big city. I need a publisher just to give me some money and let me live in a tree house and write the greatest novel of all time. I’m more than a writer, I like to adventure, but I really am a good combination of easy-going traveler and gonzo reporter novelist, I wonder why nobody has tried to give me a chance yet. I think I’m a force of nature sometimes and look different around normal blue-collar people, and maybe put people off with once in a full moon irrational behavior,  but I am who I am. But really, I’ll always fight for those who are good people, do anything for them, and in that I’m a speaker of the human race. Blah.

So had to write I guess. Didn’t mean for this to go on so long. Since it did this will be my only post today. I feel like I could type all night, but that wouldn’t be good, since I have about thirty pages to edit still before morning comes and people start making all these noises  During the editing process you really grow as a writer, you really become a better writer, and this time, it started to click during Sleep Walking Under The Moon Soul of Lake Michigan, a book of mine; started to come together  and seeing each word, as if you’re writing for children, because each word has to count, even a the to too you I so, you know simple words, but you start to respect each word and so and so on, but writing is important too because you have to keep your typing skill up. Blah…

So where was I? Oh yeah, I said I’m going to try to move soon to a big city. I don’t know. I need to make some money. I don’t know how people do it. I was selling my books for a while, but since then, well I only sell about twenty a month, and man, let’s say I’m really broke. I went on an adventure and spent basically all my money because was with a girl and girls want to believe that you are a famous writer and I was like sure we can go here, not telling her of course that I only had 500 dollars to my name. Now maybe 100 dollars to my name. LoL. As smart as I think I am, when it comes down to hustling up some coin, clueless. Some writers don’t understand this concept of poverty, don’t think many people do, but really Its something that can hold you back in life, so never take for granted what you have and where you can go and what you can afford to buy, expensive cameras and places you can go, because really if I was in your place, well no, I wouldn’t be me, and Just respect what you have, because the struggle of this thing called money has destroyed my life, and Ive had to rebuild over and over in the mess that this economy thing has done to my surrounding like a bomb going off in so many cities I’be lived in. I don’t feel very good these days, and I don’t know why, losing my cool, and then being so pissed off I don’t want to get out of bed. But then I know I have to get back to the writing, to the work, because I want something happy in this life, so I try and make these books as revolutionary as I can, and they will be original,  I’m one of a kind, and good or bad, I could end up doing for the written word  and the book, what Steve Jobs and apple did for technology  Take something that people don’t know they want and make them want it, because it’s amazing. They just don’t know yet. hope you’ll buy my books, because I’m proud of them, because just holding them will make you want to write, make you question the nature of reality, the social construction of what is everything, and  I don’t duel with writers though, because I know that real writers don’t joust. I’m not a kid. need some connections, and social media, has done little to open any doors. That’s why I don’t really see a point. I’m not trying to jerk my ego off here. Many of these edited pages are old, some up to ten years old, but they have been edited for the portable Kuharevicz. Like the one below, this is from when I just graduated and lived in an artist commune after living in Florida and coming back to Michigan for the first time. I don’t know, I’m trying to live my damn life. below are more words. Like I said in the coming week I’ll be deleting almost everything but my sketches and blog only posts. Alright, so this blog will have those, the sketches, sometimes a gonzo article, and also, footnotes. I’m open to ideas. I need somebody to punch me in the face. Have a good one. Andrew H. K 3/6/2013

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