Funny Dead Writers #1 Rodney Dangerfield

(These un-tagged posts will show up randomly until the end of the year, and will be just videos and books and sources, of writing of all varieties. This blog will feature no new content until 2014. Thank you society…….) 

Jokes by Rodney Dangerfield 

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me! 

I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. 

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, “Doc, I keep thinking I’m a dog.” He told me to get off his couch. 

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.” My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.” I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west! 

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette. 

rodney_dangerfield_rappin

 

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